When I decided to be a teacher, I really had no idea how many “special skills” I would acquire a long the way. You know … the stuff they don’t teach you in university. The things you only learn once you get into the classroom.
Here is a list of special skills I’ve acquired over the years …
1. All children, at some point or another, pick their nose and eat what their finger pulls out from there. When I see this happen, I don’t even cringe. I discreetly pass them a tissue and continue on with my teaching.
2. Whether I have a class of 20 or a class of 30 students, it takes me only two days to commit all their names to memory. By the end of the first month of school, I can, with eyes closed, identify each child simply be hearing their voice. My students truly believe I have eyes and ears in the back of my head.
3. I can animate and make entertaining any lesson at the drop of a hat. I’m like a magician pulling a rabbit out of my hat on demand.
4. I’ve trained myself to go to the bathroom twice a day when at school. Sometimes 4 times, depending on the day. I don’t stray from this routine either. It’s always either morning, recess, lunch or after school. Not bad if I don’t say so myself.
5. I am able to find chocolate in the school on any given day and at any given time. I know it’s there and I know exactly where to find it once my own stash runs out.
6. I can eat my lunch in under 20 minutes and if it’s my supervision day, I can inhale a sandwich in less than 5 minutes.
7. I can turn a frown upside down in a matter of a minute.
8. I can see a parent for the first time and know instantly which of my students belongs to them.
9. I can quickly find a place in my heart for each and every child that crosses my path regardless of whether they are well-behaved or not.
10. I can tell when it’s a full moon without even looking outside.
11. I have acquired the ability to pick out which student has had an accident in their pants and is too afraid to say with the super heightened sense I have in my nose. Note: All accidents are dealt with nothing but discreetness and compassion.
Bonus: I can be different people all in the same day. A nurse when someone needs a band-aid, a lawyer when settling a dispute between friends, a counselor when nurturing hurt feelings and a Mom when they need reminders to eat their lunch, tie their shoes, wear a jacket outside at recess and clean-up after themselves. I can wear any hat, at any time of the day.
How many of you can pull off any of my special skills?