Is it Friday already? It must be. I’ve got a bloggy friend lined up to bedazzle you with her sense of humour and artistic talent.
If you’ve been here before, you know the drill. If you’re new to the Let’s BEE Friends link-up just follow these easy steps:
2. Grab the button and add it to you post, link up and visit the other participants.
3. And spread the word!
So now, my friends, sit back and let me tell you about the goddess I have hanging out with me today. Her name is the Sarcasm Goddess and she rocks the blog, For the Love of Writing. She is married and has ” two furry kids Sweet Riley and Evil Cody”. The Goddess has a degree in marketing but quit her job in October of 2011 to be a full-time writer. Yes, she’s written a book. To learn more about that book, click here.
Enough talk by me. Let’s meet the Goddess and learn 10 random facts about her today!
I cannot tell you how excited I am to be here. When Bruna asked me if I wanted to participate in this week’s Let’s Bee Friends, good times were had in my house. There was shrieking and jazz hands and I might have even peed myself a little. Once the jubilation died down, I ate my hair and rocked myself in a corner for three days, because being featured on someone else’s blog? Oh Mah Gah, the pressure! I’d like to think of myself as a fabulously interesting person, but on any given day I’m quite boring. Yet, somehow, crazy things still happen to me.
1. Like the time the UPS man delivered a bomb to my house. I have no idea what he has against women in masks, but a bomb is pretty extreme, don’t you think? Okay, it’s possible he didn’t actually deliver me a bomb. It’s possible I am a highly delusional, incredibly paranoid person.
2. But I totally did not imagine the lizard that crawled up my pants one night on my way to party. The husband and I got into the car and I felt something weird on my shin. Then on my knee. A few minutes into the party I felt a very strange sensation on my inner thigh. I went to the bathroom to investigate and lo and behold, it was a lizard. Did I mention I am TERRIFIED of lizards? Did I also mention that parties give me severe anxiety? I don’t think we need a calculator to figure this one out.
Lizard in my pants + Party = Epic Meltdown.
3. In October 2010, I quit my job in non-profit (where I was working 12-15 hour days) to write full time. I am currently on the fourth revision of my first novel. I thought it was finished after three revisions, but my editor had other ideas. When I’m not revising and editing, I’m writing my second novel. A typical day goes something like this:
2:00 p.m. Wake up. Make coffee.
2:15- 4:00 p.m. Hang out on twitter, read blog posts, play WWF and Draw Something
4:00 – 5:00 p.m. Try to write a blog post. Stare blankly at the computer.
5:00 – 9:00 p.m. Spend quality time with the husband.
9:00 p.m. – 6:00 a.m. Work on my novels and hopefully bang out an absurd blog post (get distracted by twitter, blogs, facebook, WWF, Draw Something).
6ish a.m. – 2:00 p.m. Sleep.
4. Sometimes I illustrate my blog posts with pictures. I would do it more often, but I am a terrible artist and it takes me four thousand hours to draw the simplest of things. One time, I drew a woman crawling on the floor like a cat and showed it to the husband. He said it looked like an ant. In honor of this special occasion, here’s a picture of a bee in a tutu!
5. I have an obscene love of bacon. I could eat several pounds of it every day. Which is why I do not keep it in the house.
6. Other than writing, my greatest passion is traveling. Once, I attempted to make of list of all the places I want to visit but soon realized it was pointless because I want to go everywhere. Well, everywhere that won’t get me kidnapped or killed.
7. I almost got arrested in Rome for drinking water at the Pantheon. I was on my senior class trip and most of the class and chaperones were way ahead of me and my two friends when the police started yelling at me to go with them. I was all, “heck no!” And they were like, “heck yes, you come with us.” I finally realized the water bottle in my hand was the problem. I handed it to them and they left me alone. An hour later we went to a restaurant. As soon as I sat on the chair it collapsed into a thousand pieces. I was pretty sure I was going to be arrested for that too. It was not a good day, ya’ll.
8. On any given day, I look like this:
9. I love cheese. Goat, feta, gorgonzola, brie, aged parmesan, ricotta, gouda, gruyere. You name it, I love it. Almost every single time I eat cheese in the presence of another person, they feel the need to warn me that I will become constipated from massive cheese consumption. However, cheese does not have this effect on me. So basically, what this person has told me is that whenever they eat cheese, they become constipated. Which is, quite honestly, more than I ever wanted to know about them.
10. Since I have resorted to talking about constipation, I think it is safe to say I have run out of interesting things to say. I leave you with a joke from Jerry the Giraffe. He is an aspiring comedian. He thinks he is hilarious. Please don’t tell him otherwise. It’ll break his heart.
Thank you so much for having me here, Bruna! I had THE BEST time!
Follow on Twitter? She’s the @SarcasmGoddess !