Okay, before you jump the gun and think this post is going to be anything like the trendy book, Fifty Shades of Grey, it’s not. Just so we’re clear.
This post is about the two sides of Mama Bee. Yep, I have two personalities and don’t look surprised because, if you’re a parent, you do too!
Shall I continue?
When I’m in mom-mode, I feel the need to be organized. I like to plan, make lists and cross things off. I like structure and keeping to schedules. I feel less stressed when I feel like I’m in control of my day-to-day life.
When I’m in mom-mode, I tend to become grumpy very easily and more-so if I didn’t get enough sleep the night before. I’m not grumpy because I want to be grumpy. My grumpiness is usually a result of a teenager and two little girls not following rules, keeping up with their chores or whining for nothing. What is up with whining for nothing? or everything?
When I’m in mom-mode, my brain works on overdrive. I’m always thinking. What do I need to do? Have I checked their homework? Made lunches? Bathed the kids? Grocery shopped? The thinking never stops. Always thinking ahead because I hate the feeling of being disorganized, late or out-of-the-loop.
When I’m in mom-mode, I always feel rushed or like I’m going to be late. I don’t do well under pressure and my little ones move at a snail’s pace. There’s absolutely nothing you can do about it either. I’ve tried everything.
I don’t sound very fun when I’m in mom-mode, do I? Okay, I’m not that bad but I could benefit from letting go a bit. Along with the over-thinking, over-organizing, stressing, rushing and the grumps, I have my moments when I’m funny, silly and fun. These moments are just fewer in comparison to the other. Don’t judge.
I am always loving. No amount of grumpiness takes away from how much I love my kids. It comes with the mom territory.
On the flip-side, I do have another shade to my personality. It’s called ME mode. When I’m in ME mode I’m not in the company of my children. I shift into ME mode only when I’m at work, on date nights or weekend getaways with the hubby or nights out with my girlfriends or sisters.
The last time we were away for a weekend, the hubby brought to my attention how different I am when the kids aren’t around. “You’re so relaxed and carefree when we don’t have the kids with us” said the husband to me. He’s right. When I don’t have anyone to take care of, I’m so much more relaxed. I’d even go as far to say that I’m much more interesting and fun.
I hate that the routine of daily living sucks the life out of me.
I was so much happier and carefree over the summer when we didn’t have a schedule or places to be at any particular time. Too bad life couldn’t always be like it is in summer.
Anywhoo, I’m making a conscientious effort to de-stress my life. Not sure exactly how I’ll do such a thing but I plan on trying to find a way.
Maybe a daily glass or two of wine will help.
How do you keep the routines of daily living from making you feel overwhelmed?