What does spice have to do with relationships?

In celebrating my blog’s 2 year anniversary, I thought I would take a walk down memory lane and share with you all an old post from my archives.

In actuality, this post was my very first guest post c/o the snarky, yet lovely Carri Ellen Brown and the blog she once called Mommy’s Little Monster Blake.

Having just re-discovered it a few days ago, I was awe-struck by the subject I chose to write about for Carri and couldn’t help but laugh as I re-read it two years after the fact.

What was I thinking?


10 Ways To Spice Up Your Relationship

Whenever my girlfriends and I get together, we always end up discussing relationships. If we’re not talking about friendships, we’re definitely talking about Marriage. More specifically though, we’re discussing married life after kids. Like what? Well like how everything changes once children come into the picture. If you’re married with kids and reading this, you know exactly what I mean. Life just happens.

Our counterparts, the men in our lives, never discuss relationships. They choose to keep that part of their life to themselves. The topic of sports is way more entertaining to them.  Us women, however, need to vent about the never ending housework and cooking, the raising of the children, how little time we get to ourselves and the slow but sure disappearance of time available to re-connect as a couple with our significant others. <Insert “sigh” here>

It’s hard to talk with each other when your conversations are constantly being interrupted by children asking you questions or seeking your attention. How often do you begin a conversation with your spouse to only have it cut short because one of the kids is crying, fighting with a sibling, fallen down and gotten hurt or simply wanting you to play with them? It happens often! How often do we get to the end of the day, go to bed and then feel absolutely exhausted, physically and mentally, that the only thing we have energy left to do is sleep? AHEM!

We all know too well how easy it is to become wrapped up in the normal day-to-day routine of life with all of the after school activities, play-dates, homework, career expectations and the responsibilities of the home. Can you blame couples then for forgetting about the importance of paying special attention to each other? What do you mean we can’t just assume that our partner knows just how much we care, love and value them? Aw, come on!

So, in light of all this, I came up with a list of 10 things couples can do to spice up their relationship. And no, I’m not talking about what you think I’m talking about either! Get your mind out of the gutter. (Guys need romance in their lives too so stop rolling your eyes male readers!) I made this list with the intention making sure that I’m putting enough effort into my own relationship. After all, I plan on spending the rest of my life with this guy. Isn’t it important to keep things alive and exciting between us till death do us part?!

So bare in mind that my list was created by a female mind. It might be a little girlie-themed.  ** Disclaimer, I’m no relationship expert and cannot guarantee that my list will save or spice up any relationship so don’t hold me to it. Results may vary with each couple. Use it at your own risk!

And viola ….

How about …

1. Hold hands every chance you get.

2. Kiss each other throughout the day.

3. Randomly give each other hugs throughout the day.

4. Set aside 30 minutes every day or night to talk to each other.

5. Plan a date night once a month where you go out together and do something you don’t normally get to do with each other.

6. Be spontaneous. Do something unexpected or out of the ordinary for you.

7. Tell your spouse how beautiful or how handsome they look. Don’t overdo it though. The compliment will lose it’s meaning.

8. Engage in non-sexual touching throughout the day … a squeeze of the hand, caress of the face, rub the back, hold hands or share a quick hug. In the evening, once the kids are in bed, cuddle on the couch together while you watch television.

9. Try never to go to bed angry.

10. Do small, inexpensive but special things for each other.

The list can be tweaked to fit any couples needs. Think about your own relationship and come up with things you can do that might benefit you as a couple. Don’t forget to include your spouse’s input in the list making ladies because, after all, it’s not always just about us even though we like to think so.

Not bad advice for a novice relationship therapist wanna-be, right?

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4 thoughts on “What does spice have to do with relationships?

  1. This is so valid in our day and age where everyone rushes around busy, busy, busy. I always say it’s the little things and gestures that matter. I like your list and am happy to report that we do most of these things in our relationship. Hubby never ever leaves the house without a quick kiss good bye… even if I’m still sleeping which used to happen quite a bit back in the day!

    • I couldn’t agree with you more Susi – about the busy life we all lead. It’s hard not to forget to find time for each other when we all have so much going on around us. Yikes! I think it’s sweet that hubby kisses you before he leaves the house. A small but ever so meaningful gesture :) )

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