Today was a special day.
I have been dreaming, since in the throes of baby and toddler-hood with my youngest two, of the day when all three girls would be in elementary school.
I have thought about all the time I will have for myself.
I have written an imaginary list of things I will get to do again .
I have planned coffee dates with girlfriends and outlined home projects I want to tackle.
I have vowed to become a better cook.
I have sworn to make fitness more of a priority in my life.
Big plans. All of these.
Today, my special day came.
My youngest babe had her first full day of Kindergarten.
She was ready but I was not.
I watched her walk into her classroom, waving at me with a silly grin. As I turned to walk back home, tears began to well up in my eyes. Not expecting this at all, I quickly wiped away the tears in hopes that no one could see me in my emotional state.
What is wrong with me? I asked myself this over and over again while my tears streamed down my face faster than I could wipe them away.
Then it came. Then everything became clear.
My last babe was no longer just that.
I no longer have little ones at home.
It’s just me now …
No one to talk to or play with.
No one to teach or do arts and crafts with.
No one to have lunch with.