As I sit at my desk and stare at the screen, I stop and sit silent. The house is quiet. A quiet that is so new and peculiar to me that I feel like a stranger in my own surroundings.
I am alone.
No voices in the distance make-believe playing, no requests for snacks or games, no fighting, no preschool drop-offs and pick-ups and no mess to be found anywhere.
I am by myself.
I have anticipated this day for years. I have waited
impatiently patiently for this transition in my life and it is finally here.
My youngest entered Kindergarten this year. All three girls are now in full-time school.
I am, finally, kid-free.
And while I feel like I should do the happy dance or go out and pamper myself in every way, I can’t help but feel like I’ve lost something.
Life has shifted and pushed me through to the next stage.
No more little people at home.
That stage has passed and I can never get it back.
This sense of loss is what I feel and it has taken me completely by surprise.
I know, with time, this feeling will pass. I know I will eventually create a new routine for myself. I also know that, before long, it will feel as if my life never changed at all.
I need to start thinking about what I want to do with my newly acquired free time and make good use of it.
I’ve gone so long without time for myself; I don’t know where to begin.
In the meantime, maybe I’ll make a list.
And a cup of coffee to go with it.
Or maybe I’ll clean the house.
Who am I kidding?
I’d rather go shopping.
Did any of you feel this way once your last child entered Kindergarten and left you at home all by yourself?